There is someone, who I'll call Maggie Gordon-Walker - because that's her name, who inhabits my body on a various basis and forces, yes FORCES, me on stage to relive the horrors of my life experience. I have been up and down the length of the country, from the Gilded Balloon in Edinburgh, via the Balham Banana to Upstairs at the Three and Ten in Brighton. Sometimes she forces me to be other people as well....

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This is one of the times she made me be other people. One at a time mind, I'm not a bleeding circus performer. This, dear hearts, is Sketch Club, that ran from 2001-2003 in London's glittering Crouch End, Downstairs at the Kings Head. I believe I'm being a coward, or in a Coward sketch, as they kept shouting. Thank God Cowell squashed Coward when he came along and put a stop to all this nonsense with his wonderful, life-affirming talent shows!
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Ahh, that's better!

Here, I'm in charge of my own destiny. And indeed that of the lovely Harvey Hoontod (aka Russell Churney).

Harvey was doing a spectacularly dull one man piano show at The Canal Cafe. I certainly livened it up!!

You can see the results, in all their fabulousness, here....www.youtube.com/MaryChristmasxx.

I don't know why Youtube wouldn't let me put the whole show on as one clip. They're idiots. The whole splendiforousness is about an hour long. I expect you'll want to watch it a few hundred times, so meaningful and wise it is....

                                                                                                 The individual parts are.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=psPSr2r5VxM - Part One

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rL95qSYXVL4 - Part Two

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bGM-7H5vd7c - Part Three

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=coDIcahhhf0 - Part Four
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Here's somebody else whose destiny I changed. Poor old Wilkie had foolishly got himself entangled with some comedians. And there he was, doing his best Hugh Laurie impersonation and blethering on about vegetables. Thank Goodness I was on hand with my David Miliband vegetable sculpture to save the day!
More vegetables.... Do we have an emerging theme...? Here is my new guide to a healthier lifestyle
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xq0JQWQL60I -
Mary Christmas' Vegetables for People Who Don't Want To Give Up Meat